Cat talking WM sense.(WM)

Here's a 21st century dilemma for you. Is it wrong to search for your ex-boyfriends on Facebook?

That has been the discussion among the WM girls this last week.

As the popularity of the internet social networking site grows, so does the ease of tracking down long-lost friends and colleagues. But where do you draw the line? Is it natural curiosity to want to know what the former loves of your lives are up to - or is it clear signs of "bunny boiler" tendencies? And what about if you're in a relationship? Could it be cause for creating unnecessary jealousies and issues of trust?

The idea of searching for exes had not really occurred to me until Hubby - who won't join Facebook because he thinks it's pointless becoming friends again with people you couldn't be bothered to stay friends with in the first place - was using my Facebook profile to look at old friends of his to see who else they were still in touch with.

"Oh look," he said. "There's my ex-girlfriend from when I was 17."

"Yeah, I bet she's a real bitch," I muttered, mortified that Hubby should deem it suitable to talk about exes only weeks into our marriage.

"No she's not," he said. "She was really nice. I had a broken leg when I went out with her and she used to drive me everywhere."

"Yeah, she was so nice you dumped her after two weeks," I retorted, having heard this story before. He didn't have a come back for that one.

It was a few days later when I stumbled upon an ex of my own. I knew he was friends with one of my friends, but it was rather weird seeing his face staring back at me after all these years. He's set up his profile so that only his friends can see what he's been up to - mine is laden with wedding photos and open to all so I'm sure he's looked. Ha!

The weirdest thing though, is when you stumble upon an ex in someone else's list without even realising they know each other.

It wasn't my ex I found this way, but the ex of one of my closest friends. He broke her heart at university and after we all graduated we never saw him again. Of course I rang her up to tell her the minute I found him and she duly leapt online to have a nose. But not until we'd debated whether it was right to be looking at exes when you're in a serious relationship.

"This is such a modern dilemma," I said to her.

"You think that's a sign of the times?" she replied. "My colleague found out on Facebook that the guy she thought of as her boyfriend was in a relationship with another girl. She was such a technophobe he never thought she's sign up so didn't think to conceal it. How's that for being totally 21st century?"

Who ever would have thought finding your other half snogging someone else would have a 21st century equivalent? Probably hurts just as much as the old way though.